Someone asked for the lyrics to "Stay Where you Are"
This is what I remember from when I heard it many, many years ago - in the 70s? Please correct anything I've mis-remembered.
STAY WHERE YOU ARE
"Stay where you are and don't move," said the man with the truncheon,
"I've seen some bad stuff in my time but this beats the lot.
Hand over the lithograph and the intimate photographs
I'll take the projector and all of the film that you've got".
"Bring back the hangman's noose", said the man called a Tory
He felt it had something to do with England's past glory
Henry the eighth and all that. The birch, the stocks and the cat.
At least you've got to admit it's a bloody good story.
Sniffing for cannabis resin the dogs come a calling
"Excuse me sir but we've heard the effects are appalling
And it leads to stronger stuff like alcohol and snuff
So don't be surprised if you find you're inside in the morning
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" said the leader.
"Well yes, I suppose, well alright, 'ave a go", said the crowd.
"'Ello", said the TV men, "lovely to see you again."
And old Mrs. Campbell dropped dead in her soup the next morning.
Cream of tomato.