You TWAT!!! You insufferable, pointy-headed, halfwit! You can't kill off Hector Ballsworthy! Don't you realize I've spent years developing that character? Don't you realize that legions of stupid, easily misled and poorly educated Britons depend upon his scandal sheet to keep them distracted and get their minds off their declining marriages, their financial problems, their awful jobs, their bloody government, their wretched cuisine, etc?

It couldn't have been Ballsworthy. Must have been one of his underlings. Perhaps it was Squidgeon or Styles.

At any rate, I shall require a revision.

Furthermore, you are depicting Chongo in an unfair manner. He's a distinguished presidential candidate, you know. He has a lot of respect in Chicago.

I think about 500 Hail Mary's are in order for you, my good man, and a week in penance, wearing a hair shirt and administering daily scourgings with a metal tipped Cat O' Nine Tails. Opus Dei is going to hear about THIS!

Nice decisive action on Penelope's part, though...