See, that's what I mean. You seemingly have no respect for either Chongo or Shane! This is soooo hard to believe.

Mind, you, in Shane's case....well, yes, I can see some justification for not entirely respecting him...

But in Chongo's case? Good lord, man, what could you be thinking? Chongo is a noble example of all that is good in primates. He leaves most humans in the dust. He wears cool clothing and always carries a gun. He drives a car with running boards, and can fire off a full clip from the driver side window while steering at breakneck speeds with the other hand.

He dates slinky women and works out at the local gym.

He has read all the Philip Marlowe tales.

He doesn't play video games.

What is not to like and admire about this remarkable ape???? Hmm? Tell me. You can't do it, can you? You're at a loss for words.

That's right, just slink off and admit you were wrong to ever diss Chongo Chimp. Just deal with it, okay?