How about this one, adapted from an original version by myself The Sewer Song Me mate and me are bosum pals and have been, since we was kids a'playing on the park. But now we work for 'Civic Sanitation', up to our waists in muck, and in the dark. Chorus Oh I likes working down the sewer, shovelling up manure , that's where the navvy does his bit. I like to hear the shovels ring with a 'clang, clang clang', working down the sewer with me gang. Now I likes me job down the sewer, all amongst the widdle and the poop, Sorting out the little bits of paper, and slinging out the biguns with an 'ook Chorus One day I found a special piece of paper, in Tory blue, though slightly stained wiv brown. Signed 'Teresa May', I thought well what a caper, it's floated all the way from London Town. Chorus I squeezed it out and put it in me pocket, a souvenir to show the kids at tea And now it's tucked away inside me locket, a hanging round me neck for all to see. Chorus One day I dropped me lunch box down the sewer, I must admit I felt a trifle pained. Me mate said "It's all right, it aint lost nothing" To tell the truth I think that it had gained! Chorus I opened up the lid to have a sandwich, a pity that I didn't have a scoop. I'll 'ave to tell the missus not to do it. I just can't 'andle her Brown Windsor Soup Chorus Lunch time down the sewer's really smashing, me missus makes a stew of high renown. Boiled beef and carrots reall take a bashing, but the dumplings are a funny shade of brown! Chorus For tea break I just love a nice cold sausage, I eats it in me fingers like a cake, But I make sure that I squeezes it beforehand, 'cos I'd hate to bite a wrong'un by mistake. Chorus The things that people flush away amaze you, condoms by the score and we sell lots. We wash 'em in the water as it runs by, the hardest bit is undoing the knots. Chorus They say that 'Jack the Ripper' used this sewer to wash away the gore from where he'd been. We sometimes find a bit he might have handled, all soggy and a nasty shade of green, Chorus The animals down here, you ought to see them, rats as big as cats and that's no boast, They can't 'alf run but sometimes we can catch one. It makes a very tasty Sunday roast. Chorus Me Ganddad lived and died 'ere down the sewer, and when I die I want the same for me. To float off down the tunnel in me coffin, there's nuffin like a burial at sea. Oh I likes working down the sewer, shovelling up manure , that's where the navvy does his bit. I like to hear the shovels ring with a 'clang, clang clang', working down the sewer with me gang. Yes working down the sewer, shovelling up manure, working down the sewer with me gang. Richard Bloomfield 1988
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