All Around My Fat by Penny Ward (submitted by Micca)
Lyrics by: Penny Ward Tune: All around my hat (Traditional)
Chorus: All around my fat I will wear the Playtex Girdle And all around my fat For an evening and a day And if anyone should ask me The reason why I'm wearing it It's all for my true love Who thinks I'm built this way
Verse1 Take half a pound of talcum And a small jar of Vaseline A shoehorn comes in handy It's the biggest you've ever seen! You put it all together And you will plainly see I'm a different shape completely And in abject agony
Chorus
Verse 2
The other night he bought me A small box of lingerie All frothy lace and satin The colour of ivory I went to change and left him Anticipating hedony So much for Janet Reger I can't get them past my knees!
Chorus
Verse3
Fare the well Weight Watchers And fare the well the step class Three stone have I gained And my waistline I have lost I'll eat and I'll be merry Dispense with guilt and calories I'll stuff the sodding 'F' plan It's a fry up for me tea!
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