This is the version which is still sung regularly in local rugby clubs down here in darkest Dorset


Down our street we had a little party,
Everybody there was oh so gay and hearty,
Talk about a treat; there was fuck all to eat,
We drank all the beer from the boozer down the street.

There was poor old joe, fair fucked up,
Down in the cellar with the old bull pup
There's little sonny Jim trying to get in,
With his arsehole winking at the moon.

Oh, Salome, Salome, that's my girl Salome,
Standing there with her tits all bare,
Every little wiggle makes the boys all stare.
She swing 'em, she swings 'em
And the old men murmer "oh"
But my old sphinx just winks and winks
To see my girl Salome

She's a big fat cow, twice the size of me,
Hairs on her belly like the branches on a tree,
She can run, fuck, fart , fight
Wheel a barrow, ride a bike
That's my girl Salome.

On Monday night she takes it up her back,
Tuesday night she can take it up the crack.
Wednesday night she has a little spell,
Thursday night she fucks like hell,
On Friday night she takes it up her nose,
Down between her fingers, up between her toes,
Saturday night her cunt's all tight
And on Sunday night she's had it

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
And a fucking great sunbeam am I.