THE NEW THEOSOPHY

Who wouldn't be
A devotee
Of up-to-date Theosophy?
Which supersedes
All cults and creeds
And every known philosophy.
Its students scan
The Cosmic Plan
And sub-divide the Trinity;
And may with ease
Obtain degrees
That certify divinity.

I do not speak --
I haven't the cheek --
About the scheme original;
Divulged to us by H. P. B.
Which we now safely pigeon-hole.
We now have saints
Whose vision paints
A future more fantastical;
And we can fool
The Golden Rule
And make it more elastical.

"The Secret Doc-
trine" now we mock,
its study self-revealing
Made plain to us
With painful fuss
The things we're now concealing.
It might be Truth?
For us, Vermouth!
That soothes us like a zither --
The wine distilled
From pages filled
With Man: Whence, How, and Whither.

It dulls our brains,
But entertains
And gives us dreams entrancing,
And proves without
The slightest doubt
The race is sure advancing:
Since our new Star,
Our avatar
Was once a moon-chain chimpanzee
And arhats good,
Near Buddha-hood,
Are here as any simp can see.

Let zealots rant,
Intolerant,
About our new Theology;
We'll let them see
That H. P. B.
Missed points in sociology.
That we don't lie
Is proven by
Our splendid popularity;
Clairvoyantly
We always see
Occasion for hilarity.

In vestments dressed,
Upon our chest
A golden cross we dangle;
Poor sinners come:
We haw and hum --
Untwist the ether's tangle.
A mystic word
By devas heard --
A magic invocation!
And sinners go,
Now pure as snow,
Assured of consecration.

Our modern stuff
Is never rough --
We make occultism simple!
To qualify
You simply buy
A share in our new temple
In Sydney Bay;
And watch and pray
for 'Alcy' 's transformation.
From callow youth
To Lord of Truth --
Our Christ by acclamation!

So, you'll agree,
A devotee
Of up-to-date Theosophy
Is far ahead
Of one that's fed
on H. P. B.'s philosophy,
For he may scan
The Cosmic Plan
And sub-divide the Trinity,
And may with ease
Obtain degrees
That certify divinity.

credited to "D. MacKinnon, Vancouver"
and printed in Volume VII, no. 2 of The Canadian Theosophist. Toronto: The Theosophical Society in Canada, April 15, 1926. Page 40.