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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,maria Req: Irish Comic Poem (for recitation) (46) RE: Req: Irish Comic Poem (for recitation) 08 Apr 17

Dublin funny prose recitation. Titled 'Cinderella'
Well if yez all shut up I'll tell yez about poor oul Cinderella
The mot what had to stay at home cos she hadn't got a fella.
She used to do the housework for an ugly pair of sisters
And they didn't even stamp her cards the dirty pair of twisters
She'd no fully fashioned stockings, she'd no powder for her nose
And the only bit of glam she had was her sisters' cast off clothes.
And when she'd go out walking sure she'd never make a click
For the fellas'd all laugh at poor aul Mary Hick.
And Cinders'd bawl her eyes out as round the house she'd go
Saying 'Gawney girls, I'm finished I'll end up in Portland Row'.
Then one night the ugly sisters were going to a ball
When the queen an' all her fairies came through the kitchen wall.
She waved her wand at Cinders and near scared her of her life
And the next thing – she was all dressed up just like the Taoiseach's wife!
She waved her magic wand again before they did disperse
And a coach all made of glass appeared, like an undertaker's hearse,
And a tiny little coachman only half the size of Jeff
In a smashing little uniform just like the LDF.
Well Cinders stepped into the coach and went off to the ball
She caused a great sensation when she came into the hall
The centre of attraction she was, a beaut, a perfect toff
The fellas were all delighted but the mots were all browned off.
As she moved along the ballroom she broke everybody's heart
And the Prince said to the bodyguard 'Eh who's the smashing tart?'
So he asked her for the dances but she only gave him five,
The tango, waltz and foxtrot, the jitterbug and jive.
Then he asked her to the garden just to listen to the band
And wait'll yez hear the poor aul eejit didn't even hold her hand.
'For' says he 'she wouldn't like it she's a real stand offish miss',
And all the time poor Cinders was only dying for a kiss.
But he moved up closer to her and things were going well
When all at once the clock struck 12 and Cinders ran like hell
But she lost her little slipper as she flew across the room,
And she dashed along Clanbrassil street, that's the shortcut to the Coombe.
Anyhow, the Prince, he picked the slipper up and to the guards he said
'That bird what I was dancing with is the only one I'll wed
So let yez go and find her yez shocking pair of dafts
She's the wan with the Cuffe St accent and the smashing pair of shafts.
Search every joint in Dublin for the foot that fits that slipper
And bring her back to Marlborough St, I'll be waiting in the chipper'.
So the guards set out to try the shoe on every foot in town
And what a dirty job it was it nearly got them down.
But Cinders was the only one successful in the test
And the bould ould Prince, he married her and sure yez all know the rest.

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