We would sing this in noisy coffee houses to shut up the crowd if they weren't listening to us play. (Accapella, to the tune of "The church's one foundation is Jesus Christ Our Lord")

The dogs once had a party, they came from near and far.
Some dogs came by taxi and some dogs came by car.
Each dog signed his name, all in a little book,
and each dog hung his asshole upon the nearest hook.

Some dogs were not invited and this aroused their ire.
They ran into the party and loudly shouted FIRE!
The dogs got so excited they didn't stop to look,
but grabbed the nearest asshole from off the nearest hook.

Now, this is a very sad story, for it is awfully sore,
to wear another's asshole were yours once was before.
And this is why, when dogs meet, on land or sea or foam,
they sniff each other's assholes, in hopes it is their own.