I ALWAYS GET TO BED BY HALF PAST NINE As recorded by George Formby, 31-May-1940. Long hours don't appeal to me; up late I never sit. Early to bed, I've always said, keeps us young men fit. One evening while in gay Paree, A nice young lady said: "Oui, oui!" I said: "Such things aren't good for me. I always get to bed by half past nine." An air-raid warden shouted: "Men, Expect a raid at half past ten." I said: "No use; it's too late then. I always get to bed by half past nine." I never wander around after dark. I pop my nose under the clothes and I'm up with the lark. Opposite, a girl so slick By candlelight undresses quick. Nine thirty-five, she snuffs her wick. I always get to bed by half past nine. I curl my knees up to my chin when into bed I fall. All through the night, I'm tucked up tight with my face turned to the wall. Our little hens were makin' free. The rooster said: "Don't flirt with me. I'm not so young as I used to be. I always get to bed by half past nine." A bookie bolted, sad to tell, The punters all began to yell. He shouted as he ran like—well: "I always get to bed by half past nine." I never wander around after dark. I pop my nose under the clothes and I'm up with the lark. A sultan said: "You look hot stuff. My hundred wives I use, no bluff." I said: "For me, one's quite enough. I always get to bed by half past nine." I heard our old tomcat shout: "Maria, are you coming out?" But Maria knows what she's about, 'Cause she always gets to bed by half past nine. A nudist said: "Of clothes I've none. Still, I won't be sat upon. It's time I put my nightie on. I always get to bed by half past nine." I never wander around after dark. I pop my nose under the clothes and I'm up with the lark. My family's too large for our flat. I've got fourteen kids; my hat! But I'm really not surprised at that. I always get to bed by half past nine.
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