THE SYIMEESE TWINS

TEUN-"The Pawnshop Bleezin."

WOR Geordey, just the tuther day,
Wes walkin up an' doon, man,
An' what amused him myest ova'
Wes bills stuck roond the toon, man,
Advisin foaks te gan an' see
These Twins they call the Syimeese;
He's read thor hist'ry iv a beuk,
An' swears that wundor nivvor struck
Rim half se much afore, man.

He says this freak 0' nator is
Thor join'd se fast tegither,
Wiv a lump 0' grissel hard an' tight,
Thor siporashun's nivor;
They call one Bob, the tuther Jim,
An' Jim's like Bob, an' Bob's like him,
An' if one wants te stop at hyem,
The tuther hes te de the syem,
He cannot de owt else, man.

He says when young, that Bob wes wild,
An' liked te hey his glasses,
An' led a kind 0' rakish life
Amang a' kinds 0' lasses;
But Jim, he waddint hed at a',
He said te Bob,
"Aw'lliet ye knaw
If ye want te lead this life, me lad,
Ye can gan yor-sel, aw'll not be had,
Aw'll brik the string that ties us."

But Geordey says he dursent did,
For fear he hurt he'sel, man,
Since then thor kind a settled doon,
For on thor life's a spell, man;
Shud they fall oot an'hev a fight,
Thor's neethor hes the best 0' wight,
An' if they russel, byeth gan doon,
An' when they hit the blaw reboons,
The striker feels the blaw, man.

He says thor married an' got bairns,
He wunders hoo it's deun, man,
But i' this world thor's things se queer,
Sum reckind nowt but fun, man !
An' if Bob wants te say his prayers,
An' Jimmy wants te gan doonstairs,
Bob hes te wait till Jim gets deun,
An' if Jim's gan te kiss his sun,
Bob hes te boo his heed, man.

But gox! hoo funny it wad be,
The time that they war kortin,
For if the lass fell oot wi' Jim,
Bob's feelings she'd be hurtin,
An' if he whisper'd iv her ear,
The tuther one was sure te hear;
An' when Bob tyeks an openin dose,
It fissicks Jimmy aw suppose,
An' that's a reglor maser!

If Jim shud fancy gawn asleep,
Bob hes te gan wi' him, man,
An' if Bob fancies gannin 'oot,
He hes te gan wi' Jim, man ;
Where Bob is Jimmy hes te be,
Sumtimes ye'd think it issent spree,
But what one dis his mate mun de,
Iv a' the seets the world can see,
This is the biggest cawshun!

-Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890