It seems nobody else sings this song exactly the way the writer sang it, and that may be a good thing. But just for the sake of documentation, I have listened very carefully to his recording on Spotify, and I believe this is accurate. I have boldfaced the words that are different from the version in the DT. And note that Cross called it THE SCOTSMAN, not THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT.


THE SCOTSMAN
Written by Mike Cross
As recorded by Mike Cross on "Live and Kickin'" (1990)

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evenin' fair,
One could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share.
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then he staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-dee.
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on, two young and lovely girls just happened by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleepin' Scotsman so strong and handsome built.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-dill.
"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."

They creeped [sic] up to the sleepin' Scotsman quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt above the waist so they could see,
There behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' but what God had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-derth.
Nothin' but what God had blessed him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment then one said: "We'd best be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
So as a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star of the Scot's kilt-liftin' show.
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-doe.
Around the bonnie star of the Scot's kilt-liftin' show.

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and he gawks at what he sees.
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes:
"My friend, I don't know where you been, but I see you won first prize.
First prize, first prize, I see you won first prize."

[Note that Cross omitted the "ring-ding-deedle" line in the last verse of this particular recording. But on another album, "Best of the Funny Stuff: Crème de la Cross" (1994) he included it.]