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GUEST,Jack Warshaw Lyr Add: Horse Named Bill - Know More?? (36) RE: Lyr Add: Horse Named Bill - Know More?? 06 Oct 17

Best version I ever heard was from my friend, the great Tom Paley, who has just died, aged 89. it seemed to fit his unique sense of humor. He'll be missed. Here's how I remember it, more or less.

HORSE NAMED BILL        Collected by Carl Sandburg, learned from Tom Paley

I had a horse and his name was Bill
And when he ran he couldn't stand still
He ran away one day
And also I ran with him

He ran so fast he could not stop
He ran into a barber shop
Fell exhaustionized - with his eye teeth -
In the barber's left shoulder

I had a gal and her name was Daisy
And when she sang the cat went crazy
With deliriums - St. Vituses -
And all such cataleptics

One day she sang a song about
A man who turned himself inside out
And jumped into the river
He was so very sleepy

I'm going out in the woods next year
I’m gonna shoot for beer and not for deer
I am, I ain't
A great sharpshootress

At shooting birds I am a beaut
There is no bird I cannot shoot
In the eye, in the ear, in the nose
In the finger

I went up in a balloon so big
The people on earth looked just like, a pig
Like a mouse, like a catdydid
Like fleasens and like flysens

The balloon had turned up with its bottom side higher
It fell on the wife of a country squire
She made a noise like a locomotive, like a steam whistle
And also like dynamite.

In Frisco Bay there lives a whale
And she eats corndogs by the bale
By the guitar case, by the boxcar
And also, if she can get ‘em, on blueplate specials

Her name is Nellie and she’s a peach
But don’t leave food within her reach
Or nursemaids, or babies, or choc’late ice cream sodas

Oh what, can you do in a case like that
What can you do but stamp on your hat
Or on your toothbrush, or your grandma
Or anything that's helpless.

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