When the ice is on the rice in Southern Honshu
And the sake in the cellar starts to freeze
And you whisper "Sweet ojosan, I adore you"
Then you're getting just a skoshi Nipponese.

When you're dancing to the strains of "Tanko Bushi,"
And you're saying "Arigato," 'stead of please.
And you answer telephone with "moshi moshi"
I think maybe you are going Nipponese.

As you sit on the tatami sipping sake,
And the cold wind's whipping 'round your knees.
And you're munching on some gohan and osenbei,
Then you're surely getting taksan Nipponese

When you start spending yen like it was money,
'Stead of flinging it like paper in the breeze,
And think everything in English sounds so funny
Then, my lad, you're truly Nipponese.

VERSION II:

When the ice is on the rice in Southern Honshu
And the sake in the cellar starts to freeze
And you whisper to your josan, "I adore you"
Then you're getting just a skoshi Nipponese.

When your skipper [or "the colonel"] misses muster in the morning,
And the XO's got an undefined disease,
If the pilots are all medically restricted,
Then they're getting just a skoshi Nipponese.

When the benjos start to thaw in Asian springtime,
If the smell from them seems pleasant on the breeze,
It's time to write and tell your gal in San Francisco,
She's been replaced by your skoshi Nipponese.