Here's a draft version of my new ballad, inspired by a real news article above:

By Charlie Ipcar, 11/5/17, ? 2017
Inspired by a story in the Boston Magazine by Hayley Glatter, November 2, 2017.

The Ballad of the Headless Tuna

A man in the wilderness once asked of me,
?How many strawberries grow in the sea??
I answered this fella, as I thought good,
?As many red herrings as grow in the wood.?

Good friends gather round, and listen to me,
And I?ll tell you a tale of a fish from the sea;
She was a great tuna, Charlia her name,
And her untidy demise brought her some fame.

After All Hallows Eve, or so people say,
She was hauled back to Gloucester early next day;
But the season was closed, what was Chummy to do?
Charlia discovered would raise a great hue.

So thinking fast, though somewhat bizarre,
He hitched up Charlia to his girlfriend?s new car;
And down Revere Street to a friend?s house he sped,
Dragging that tuna after removing her head.

Chummy?s friend took one look, exclaimed, ?No way!?
What was he to do now but throw Charlia away?
So he dragged her to a woods and buried her there,
And, as Cod is my Co-Pilot, he then said a prayer.

But that?s not the end to Chummy?s grave sin,
For a fella had spied him, and then turned him in;
He called up the ?Greenies? and told them to check,
The Pigeon Cove webcam down on the deck.

And so they found Chummy, locked him in jail,
Not even his girlfriend would put up his bail;
And Charlia?s grave was found after a while;
She?s now stored in a freezer awaiting the trial.

So all you bold fishermen, remember this song,
Abide by the season, you?ll never go wrong;
Abide by the season and you?ll never dread,
A night visit by Charlia without her head!

Cheerily,
Charlie Ipcar