Bah, and also Humbug. If there is anyone hereabouts suffering from an inundation of orifices it is this straw-man who would be imperial, but is merely imperious in the most nettlesome and jejune manner.

The creature you have raised up is childish , a green and unripe prepubescent mind, a puerile monger of kidstuff and child's play, an unsophisticated, unseasoned, wet-behind-the-ears diaper-wearing undergrown, unformed, unfinished, imperfect runt of a collywobble, a bewildered and addle-pated spirit lost in the worlds of real human beings.

He has no more claimed to empire than Howdy-Doody, whom he closely resembles.