This transcription is mine from Spotify [incorporating corrections supplied by OldPossum—see below]. There is a copy at YouTube.
GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES1
As recorded by the McCalmans on "Ancestral Manoeuvres" (1984)
You're telling me you've got to go.
I'm telling you it just ain't so.
I'm telling you, you ought to think again.
It's cold outside; a chilling breeze
Is wafting through the claw-like trees
Like nameless things beyond the human ken.
The bogeyman is on the prowl.
You'll know him by his fearsome growl.
Horrible creepy-crawlies stalk the land.
The goblins and the evil elves
Are playing with their loathsome selves,
Kidnapping innocent maidens for their bands.
Better stay here and let me hold your hands!
It gets frightfully scary when horrible hairy
Great hands grab a hold of your throat
And there in the thorns are two eyes and two horns
Which might or might not be a goat.
Count Dracula's bats masquerading as cats
Sing a song of nefarious glee,
And Frankenstein's monster, that lovable funster,
Is sizing you up for his tea.
Don't go home tonight but stay with me!
Mister Hyde in finest fettle
May appear as Doctor Jekyll.
Little girls are his especial vice.
Those frightful hags, the witches' coven,
Are roasting orphans in the oven.
It wouldn't be terribly awfully frightfully nice
To oblige them as a human sacrifice.
It's exquisitely horrid when werewolves get
Torridly madly impassionedly raged
They indulge in their lust with ebullient gusto
No matter to whom you're engaged.
Insatiable trolls will be taking their tolls
Of the living and even the dead.
There's a wicked old ogre with seventeen cobras
Who constantly hiss to be fed.
Shall I put a hotty-botty2 in the bed?
Have no fear about my charms.
I regularly shave my palms.
The finest chiropodist tends my cloven hoof
I'll grope you with my clammy hands,
And we'll announce the marriage banns
When you've spent a night under my roof.
At least you'll know that I am not a—3
Don't go home tonight!
Don't go home tonight!
Don't go home tonight but stay with me!
Notes:
1. It's spelled "Goulies" at Spotify but I assume this is a mistake
2. I'm guessing he's referring to a hot water bottle.
3. I'm fairly certain the suggested word is "pouf."
|
sj