You can hear this at YouTube or at The Internet Archive, performed by the American Quartet (including Billy Murray). The lyrics below are transcribed by me from the sheet music at York University:


THEY ALL HAD A FINGER IN THE PIE
Words by Vincent Bryan, music by Harry von Tilzer, ©1914.

1. If you would be single and of marriage you're afraid,
Never mingle in a home where there's a shy old maid.
If you say you'll never wed and think you know it all,
Look at wise old Johnny Brown and how he came to fall:
He swore he'd never, never take a wife,
But let me tell you how he lost his life:

CHORUS 1: First he met her father; Father took him home to tea.
Father filled him full of Mother's cooking.
Mother said to Johnny: "Mary cooks as well as me."
Uncle Eddie said:"She's real good looking."
Brother said to Johnny: "Short engagements are the thing."
Sister said: "Give me the money; I'll pick out the ring."
He's married now; he don't know how or when and where or why,
But they all had a finger in the pie.

2. Mary's folks had sworn she'd have to be somebody's wife.
Johnny never saw such perfect teamwork in his life.
Father had the license ready; Uncle had the hall.
Grandma phoned the parson that it was a hurry call.
The parson tied the knot and said: "Amen,"
Then Mary's grandpa touched poor John for ten.

CHORUS 2: Pa rolled back the parlor door and pushed poor Johnny in.
In the dark that wise old maid was lurking.
Mother said: "She has too many beaux; I hope you win."
Sister set the Dictograph a-working.
Brother mixed a cocktail up for Johnny on the sly.
Grandpa made him drink it, then he kissed himself goodbye.
He came to life beside his wife; they hooked him high and dry,
And they all had a finger in the pie.