I was walking, alone and unarmed, when I was attacked. Yes, it was a Didelphidae Giganticus Montibus -- a Giant American Mountain Possum!

Fortunately I made it to my car with entire steps to spare before the ravening beast would have made a meal of me. Nevertheless, it grabbed my car in its jaws and shook it so hard I thought the doors would fly open and my doom sealed! Somehow I pushed the "Panic" button on my car key and the resultant horn honking and lights flashing frightened the thing so that it dropped my car, tooth marked and spit covered, and fled into those dark mountain recesses it calls home.

I was prostrate for ten days from the fright this encounter engendered, and I resolved to never again go unarmed into the mountains. I know carry a pair of pearl handled AGM-114N antitank missiles in my holsters. Fortunately, I haven't been attacked by the creatures since, but an entire school bus transporting a high school cricket team disappeared the other day, leaving but chewed tires behind.