On moving across Ontario, we arrived in Pork Heaven, where pies abound, bacon is normal, sausages compete for our attention, and schnitzel is a thing. Leggings are "in" in Perth County, as in just about everywhere else in Canada, because they're warm and they fit into the top of your boots, so you're not trailing trouser cuffs in the slush. Also, elastic waistband -- need I say more? Especially in pork pie territory.

We are also the fashion hub with respect to parkas with fur around the hood, and knitted toques (pronounced "toook" in these parts). Also, the kind of rubberized snowboots that are easy to kick off at the door, because no well-brought-up Canadian wears their outdoor footwear in the house.

It's March and it's snowing. Again. At this time of the year, nobody cares about what's in and what's out except shirttails, because of the draughts.