On this one occasion, Nigs, as you've worked so hard and spent so much time in your desperate desire to prove me wrong, I will bow to your superior knowledge.

The rules have obviously changed in the years since I abandoned my push-bike in favour of the petrol-engined version. When I took my cycling proficiency test in 1957, a bell was required on a bike by law, and between 2003 and 2011 a new bike had to have a bell fitted when it left the shop. Any cyclist who doesn't understand the obvious benefits to other footpath-users of having a bell on his bike and using it really doesn't have the necessary intelligence to be allowed out on a bike.

I'm not charmed in the least when the modern cyclist's vocal 'audible warning of approach' tells me, as it frequently does, to "Get out of the fucking way, you silly old bugger," or, when my dog is having an off-lead run on our river-bank footpath which is clearly marked by a 'no cycles' sign, to "Get that fucking dog on a lead!".

Before criticising other Road users, cyclists really should take stock of their own behaviour. Stones, glasshouses and all that.