In posting for about 20 years I have presented a vulnerable side. Vulnerable in the sense of TMI to the emotionally compromised.
Regarding mixed feelings about the dead and not speaking ill of the dead in mixed company, first I have been unable to obtain a death certificate from PR and only have private accounts to o by. Second I have not seen Steve in 52 years and rely solely on telephone communication. Third, Steve is/was a half brother. Until finality can be officially established there is not much to be said.

Death always involves some mixed feelings we generally do not discuss.
I do not advocate doing away with discussing the mixed feeling side of death but only acknowledge its existence. Unreasonable guilt can result from an obsession with mixed feelings.

Keboroxu, we all have an appointment with death so the social convention of honoring the dead to some degree is good for everyone.

It can be challenging to honor a near stranger, a Scalia or a Trump but it can be done.