Your quibble about the dildo reminded me. I have Lucie Skeaping's book of 17th century Broadsides and one of the songs is called "For Want of Dildo" so I did a quick check using that fount of dodgy knowledge, Wikipedia. Actually very useful as long as you bear in mind the necessary health warning.

It mentions "Signior Dildo" which was written by John Wilmot and also a poem by Thomas Nash from the 1590s called "The Choice of Valentines, Nashe's Dildo or The Merrie Ballad of Nashe his Dildo". This was not printed at the time, due to its obscenity but it was still widely circulated and made Nashe's name notorious.

The entry suggests that Dildos have been around since forever and that the when and where the term originated is unknown.

Now back to the serious stuff.