From the Irish Traditional Music Archive sung by Owen Kelly

THE FREE STATE FARMER
(as sung by Owen Kelly)

I am a free state farmer and I live in Inishowen
My farm is not so very big for bank books I have none.
Derry is my market place it’s there I get my meat
My tea my sugar and my eggs my parings and pigs feet.

My clothes being badly torn one day I went to town
And left my measure for a suit the tailor took it down.
He said call back in three weeks time and ready it will be
I travelled back to Inishowen quite happy and care free.

My wife and I we talked things o’er at last without delay
I’d smuggle out the suit of clothes no duty for to pay.
The day came round I went to town the tailor for to see
He said the suit is finished and he wrapped it up for me.

And when I got it parcelled up I then headed for home
Going at sixty miles an hour to dear old Inishowen.
When the train came in at Pennyburn I started to undress
My coat went out the window likewise my pants and vest.

I then opened up the parcel my horror for to find
The tailor he had made a mistake the pants they were left behind
Here I am a sight to see there naked all alone
Going at sixty miles an hour towards old Inishowen.

The train came into Gallagh Road to my surprise I find
A pair of ladies knickers – they were hanging on a line.
I jumped out I pulled them on they suited me to a tee
Says I to myself a plus four suit would make a man of me.

A customs man awaited me me he said I was a swell
My wife she nearly murdered me before I had time to tell.
Never again while I’m alive will I go out alone
To smuggle out a suit of clothes to dear old Inishowen.