I used to sing this one. I got it back in the 80s off the radio. Kind of an old-timey thing ....

Oh I have a little place that I call my own. [There's no place like home]
With a precious little wife who's the bane of my life [TNPLH]
When I come in tired from a hard day's work, six or seven kids'll greet me with their faces black with dirt,
Then they put half their supper on the bossum of my shirt [TNPLH]

When the relatives come to visit you [TNPLH]
For to pack their trunks, it'll stick like glue [TNPLH]
When your mother-in-law takes the only bed you've got, puttin' you out on a ramshackle cot, and your brother-in-law's hangin' 'round the house half shot [TNPLH]

When the baby cries out in the middle of the night [TNPLH]
Oh ya search for castor oil without any light [TNPLH]
When you step on the point of an upturned tack, come a slidin' down the stairs on the middle of yer back,
Then a voice'll holler out and go, "Hurry up Jack" [TNPLH]
(Ending)
It's home, home, home sweet home,
With yer wife's cold feet in the middle of yer back [TNPLH]