My sister up in Scotland lives not far from a village called Longforgan. The local council has got very fed up with replacing the vandalised sign when the 'g' has been painted over yet again.

I've told this on another thread in the past, but it still makes me giggle. A Mrs Malaprop friend told us all sitting round the table during the interval of village bingo that her husband was decorating their hallway and was going to put up a dildo rail. We stared hard at our cups of tea and tried to compose ourselves, with varying success.