You can hear this song at YouTube:


THE MODERN DIVER
As recorded by Mr. Flotsam & Mr Jetsam, 1929.

All basses used to sing of the good old-fashioned diver.
But divers now are so highbrow there’s hardly one survivor
Who is walking alone, walking alone,
Walking alone in the depths of the sea.
Now divers have their fashion books.
The best of divers dive for looks.
They don their diving kit(?) with pride,
Their helmets cocked a bit one side,
And sure as smiling mermaid pass,
They wink at her through safety glass—
No danger now for modern fish
Are educated as you wish.
They wave a welcome with their fins.
Sardines invite them to their tins,
And if you’re tired, so it’s said,
The oysters offer you their bed.
How cheerful the life of a diver must be,
Strolling alone, patrolling alone,
Strolling, patrolling the depths of the sea!

Sometimes I must confess I’d like to be a diver.
When things are blue and all askew, it would be worth a fiver
To be lounging alone, basking alone,
Sleeping alone in the depths of the sea.
Now divers mostly pay their subs
To most exclusive divers’ clubs,
While others lead more hectic lives
Drinking in divers divers’ dives,
And there’s a diver’s union too
To say what divers have to do,
And make them certain times of day
Give channel swimmers right of way.
The ones that dive for pearls, it’s said,
Won’t wear a helmet on the head.
Their watchword is, and they make it flat:
Down with this and down with that.
How cheerful the life of a diver must be,
Slumming alone, plumbing alone,
Slumming and plumbing the depths of the sea!
Searching for treasure in a coral strand,
Stepping to the music of a submarine band,
Jazzing along, bear-hugging(?) along,
Doing the black bottom
At the black bottom of the sea.