In an interview not so long ago Tom Jones requested his female fans not to do the throwing of the underwear on the stage during the ballads - sort of "come on, now, we're a;; a bit more mature aren't we:-

This was just a thought on ageing pop idols with ageing fanbases:-

The Green Green Grass of Home

1.Now the old crowd looks the same, as I step out on the stage.
And there's the roar of the same old fans to greet me,
Oh it's Alice, Doris, Lily and Mary,
Skins a little wrinkly and chins a little hairy
They've all been put out to the green, green grass of home.

2. When they were maidens young and fair,
They used to throw their underwear,
Upon the stage where I would strut my strut so boldly
But now it's only ladies of a certain age,
Who still try to throw their knickers on the stage
And they lie there on the green, green grass of home.

Chorus:-
And those knickers hot and sweaty,
They fell down from heaven just like confetti,
And landed on green green grass of home.

3. I used to use those knickers as a towel
To wipe the sweat from off my brow,
And throw them back to the sound of all that screaming,
But nowadays I'm not so keen, because,
After all, you don't know where they've been!
It's so sad to think of that green, green grass of home.

4.Now you wouldn't hear me complain
When those knickers fell like rain,
Though one or two had probably been weed in!
But nowadays before they stay throwing ,
They've probably wet themselves without even knowing, ,
It's so hard on the green, green grass of home.

Chorus:-
And those knickers hot and sweaty,
They fell down from heaven just like confetti,
And landed on green green grass of home.

5.Well ,these days I move a little slower,
My voice a little lower,
But as we all know things drop as we get older,
Some of those knickers won't reach me, this I know,
They'll only get as far as the second row,
And land there on the green, green grass of home.

6. Well just like these ladies here
These are my twilight years,
Oh, well, I suppose I'd better just enjoy the time remaining
And no use pretending , though it's sad,
Look out, here comes an incontinence pad!!
It's a health and safety issue on the green, green grass of home.

Chorus:-
And those knickers hot and sweaty,
They fell down from heaven just like confetti,
And landed on green green grass of home.