The following lyrics are from the sheet music at The National Library of Australia.

You can hear a recording by Frank Crumit at the Internet Archive.


KING OF BORNEO
Words and music by Frank Crumit, ©1929.

1. Oh, the minstrels sing of a Borneo King ten thousand years ago
Who ruled his land with an iron hand, this royal so-and-so.
He loved to chase the bounding stag within the royal wood.
He was also fond of applejack and the ladies did him good.

CHORUS 1: Oh, a neighb’ring queen was a gay colleen; oh, a gay colleen was she.
She loved to play in a kittenish way with the king across the sea;
So she sent a special message by a royal messenger
To ask the king to come and spend a week or two with her.

2. King Borneo old had a rival bold whose name was King Kachoo.
He swore he’d stop this wedding ‘cause he craved the lady too;
So he sent the Duke of Durham to steal the queen away
And foil the king with the diamond ring, all on a summer’s day.

CHORUS 2: When the news of this foul deed was heard within old Borneo’s home,
The king he swore by the shirt he wore he would have his rival’s dome;
So he sent the Count of Asthma, who was sneezing very bad,
To go and pay the king a call and give him what he had.

3. The Queen grew very weary when she heard him cough and sneeze.
She decided that old King Kachoo was a royal hunk of cheese;
So she hurried back to Borneo and gave the King her hand,
And the strains of Hiawatha were played by the royal band.

CHORUS 3: They had a royal wedding; all his subjects wished him well.
The dancers danced and the horses pranced; oh, Mister, it was swell.
Old King Kachoo in his bungaloo he heard the strains of jazz.
The royal pair they passed him there and gave him the royal razz.