For those who follow British politics From ROBIN WALLINGTON (on Facebook) To the tune of “A Modern Major General” EDIT: two more verses to bring it up to length EDIT #2: holy cow this has blown up - thanks for all the likes and shares everyone! EDIT #3: a few people have messaged to ask if they can use this in recitals, etc. The answer will always be YES. This is free to use, record and share ?? (just let me know and send pics/videos - it’s lovely to see people enjoying it!) ?????? I am the very model of a prejudiced Etonian My diction is impeccable, my politics draconian, I’m quite the polar opposite of what you’d call revisionist And though I went to public school, at least I’m not a Wykehamist I’m keeping the tradition of the gentry ent’ring politics How else are we to keep away the Corbynista Bolsheviks So through my vivid promises of dividends most decorous I’ve mobilised the Brexiteers to levels quite obstreperous I whip them up to frenzy in a manner so Pavlovian They do not seem to see that it’s increasingly dystopian So here I stand before you like a skeletal Napoleon I am the very model of a prejudiced Etonian. I’ve studied all the Classics from Herodotus to Sophocles How else am I to criticise my colleagues’ etymologies? Perhaps that’s why I vote against most freedoms and equalities These authors are about as old as most of my philosophies! I know of all the backwards Parliament’ry curiosities Like letting Commons’ priv’lege keep me safe to spout atrocities I know the terminologies, chronologies and glossaries And yet I still behave as if we never lost the colonies. I often drain the public funds to renovate my properties Although I have more money than some smaller world economies I never make apologies for lack of reciprocities Despite the fact that swathes of Britons lack basic commodities! My views on social issues haven’t changed much since the Tudor times I rage against the slightest change to long-outdated paradigms I lack the base ability to sympathise or empathise My Commons’ sprawl exemplifies the privilege I symbolise When criticised on Women’s Rights I hide behind Catholicism Bending it to justify my heart-of-stone Conservatism, Yet I sound the clarion of fear of fundamentalism Without seeming to acknowledge this inherent dualism, I try to paint a picture of a Brexit most utopian And when they all explain to me the likely pandemonium I patronise my critics with my methods Ciceronian I am the very model of a prejudiced Etonian.
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