I shall vote Labour I shall vote Labour because God votes Labour. I shall vote Labour to protect the sacred institution of The Family. I shall vote Labour because I am a dog. I shall vote Labour because upper-class hoorays annoy me in expensive restaurants. I shall vote Labour because I am on a diet. I shall vote Labour because if I don't somebody else will: AND I shall vote Labour because if one person does it everybody will be wanting to do it. I shall vote Labour because if I do not vote Labour my balls will drop off. I shall vote Labour because there are too few cars on the road. I shall vote Labour because I am a hopeless drug addict. I shall vote Labour because I failed to be a dollar millionaire aged three. I shall vote Labour because Labour will build more maximum security prisons. I shall vote Labour because I want to shop in an all-weather precinct stretching from Yeovil to Glasgow. I shall vote Labour because the Queen's stamp collection is the best in the world. I shall vote Labour because deep in my heart I am a Conservative.
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