OK, I put most of the contributions together into this.

Well, it's coming on by degrees, it's coming on by degrees,
We've got the table. We've got the chair. We've got the baby's underwear
We've got the bar of (special) soap to wash the baby with.
We haven't got the baby yet, but its coming on by degrees!

Well, now we've got the baby. And what a babe she is!
Her eyes are green. Shes quite a queen. We call her pretty Liz.
Every night when I get home, the wife she says to me,
Go and get/push the perambulator, John, but don't go far away!

Chorus Wheel the perambulator, John, wheel it nice and slow
       Don't get riled! Mind the child! Be careful how you go!
       When you turn the corner, John, when you cross the road,
       Cock your front wheels up a bit, or over goes your load!

The other night, when we went out, we left the baby behind
I said, to the wife, I think you're very kind.
But as we were walking along, we met with Mrs. Grey.
She had the perambulator, and she was going our way! (chorus)

Now, last time I took the baby out, I took her in the pram.,
I'm going down the High Street, I don't know where I am!
I tipped/tippled the baby over! Took a little bit off her nose!
And now I daresn't go home again for fear my life I'll lose! (Chorus)

(Further verses from Bob, to amuse, and tease the distaff side.)

Now, if you've got a toothache, and it's giving you terrible pain,
Don't go to the dentist, for that's a silly game.
Here's the thing to do, man, take a swig of Castor Oil,
And go and sit upon the stove until it begins to boil!

If you've got a nagging wife, you take her in a boat,
and place her gently in the sea to see if she can float!
Then you sit and watch her, then you start to think.
You take the oars. You row away. You leave the bugger to sink!


Just collated for myself, you understand, but help yourself.