When I was a teenager, I read one of Cohen’s novels where he had a line about the F chord making your fingers bleed, which ‘struck a chord’ with me, because I had just taken up the guitar at that time. I later wrote a song about learning guitar chords, which is a bit of a visual in-joke amongst guitar players, but as they say you had to be there: (Key of C) Now you learnt some things called sequence chords You burnt the strings as you squeezed the board But it never really soared like music to you Now C’s a piss, but F’s a shit A Minor’s fine, but that F’s a bitch Though G’s a stretch, here’s E which won’t really screw you Really screw you, really screw you Always F shapes really screw you. Then you made up chords and you faked the game You gave them all your made up names Even though they sounded lame, you thought they’d do you You said sod C Thirteenth, Diminished Sevenths A Minor Ninth, F Major Eleventh Cos J Flat Twelfth of Never won’t really screw you....... To tell the truth there’s worse than that In Hell they’ve tunes in cursed B Flat Where that Devil’s chord E Flat really threw you Plus C Suspended, F Augmented A Modal Third, and that F Demented But those that you invented won’t really screw you.... (Modulate to Key of D) So you’ve raised the pitch to a better key You’ve made the switch with no F in C Even though that little B once nearly slew you But here’s the hitch, G fourth, A fifth B Minor, then you start to twitch Here comes another F bitch to really screw you.....
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