Dupont:

What a couple weeks it has been. After viewing the wonderful house on the Friday, I left on Sunday for Beaver. Two beautiful days floated by with no energy in me. The sum total was: unloading the kiln and finding some had exploded, and took others with them but still a good quantity. I reconstituted the underglazes that had dried out in the 10 years since last used. I thought a lot about how to decorate the pots and tried out a few brush strokes on paper. In the end, I did not have the will to try and had no energy most of the time. By the time I decided to do the same old stuff, I just gave up but trimmed the pots left from last trip and left them drying in the heated studio.

Feeling a little dizzy and wobbly most of the time, I finally broke down and phoned the health clinic and WOW! got an appointment to see Dr on Thurs - yesterday. Not having seen me in a year, and with new info, he wanted new blood tests and an ECG. I managed to see him, get the tests, get the house in order - except the unwashed dishes went in a dish pan and are stored in the Bath tub, to avoid mice. Also squeezed in short visit with Larry who was excited about the array of bisqued ware - in the LR! Larry is so supportive, even making me that path to the studio last spring through 6 inches of ice; it causes me to feel I must produce - for Larry! I certainly do not need any more pots but it is something to do.

Got on the road just in time to make it to the Goldmine before it closed - for pumpkin Brownies and apple crisp tarts - both scrumptious! (R and I shared one tart for BF this am.) But the last hour of trip was in the dark and not fun. I can see fine but still... I prefer daylight now. The shorter days are a pain!

The house we looked at had features that are sadly lacking here - space for potting and a huge enclosed veranda for plants and raised beds in the beautiful back yard. A few days later, R told me there was an offer and "I'm not really in a position to make an offer right now" I was so upset (I had already "moved in".) I texted him that I really did not want to talk to him. I needed to process and get over my distress/fury. We still have not mentioned it. Ten years of trying to be supportive and not add to his stress... I am now viewing as self defeating/counter productive, and I am exhausted and fed up. Ground hog day (the film) is heavy on my mind.

He did get home last night shortly after me. And, in my exhaustion, together we pieced together a meal. He had cared for the - now over 60 in-house plants - including the tomatoes, two producing pepper plants now, and all the rest. Brugmansia seems to have recovered from its snit and is getting new growth. The geraniums are still outside and I am not looking forward to finding space for them - but I will.

Tomato seedlings were not brought in soon enough and about half of one sort succumbed to damping off but there are still 8. I no longer remember which were which. Happy to know that Larry saved the seeds from the, one of each, R gave him. He has enough smarts not to start them til spring. In the meantime, I keep taking cuttings from the tomato plants to keep them from taking over the world so they ARE taking over our world as I am going to be "compelled" to pot them and find space for them! This may be becoming a serious disease! (mine, that is) When the weather warms in the spring, I will be able to put plants out on the curb "Free to a good home"! Even the African violets are becoming too many.

We have not turned the heat on yet. Chilly but R has not been here much and I can keep a fire in the stove. I did manage to bring in armloads of wood today and cover the new load to keep it dry as we are having rain tonight. It was fairly dry. Making a roast tonight to the oven is adding heat. If it gets seriously cold, I will turn on the heat.

Appointment on 15th for another sort of heart test (Echo, whatever that is). I can stop in at the hospital on the way back to Beaver. The timing works!