A $150 bill is just as queer as a $3 bill.

Conversation should have a distinctive lack of purpose.

Inner conflict is the best kind.

"I have to draw a line somewhere" is rhetorically weak, but morally it tells the truth.

No-one ever lacks a good reason for suicide.

Write drunk; edit sober.

Malice is punished by neglect.

Why tell lies, when the truth is so much more offensive?

Nonloving kindness is the more admirable kind.

Deliver me from every pride -- the Middle, High, and Low --
That bars me from a brother's side, whatever pride he show.

If you can't say anything good, make up something bad.

The wise man gratifies every appetite and ever passion; the fool sacrifices all the rest to pall and satiate one.

Make the program complicated enough to feel pain; then punish it until it does what you want it to.

Occasions for being in touch with your emotions are about as common as occasions for being in touch with your intestines.

Wire your fetishisms in parallel.

Two stupidities: "If it's worth doing, you can get a grant for it." "If it's worth doing, there's a market for it."

Never express yourself more clearly than you think.

What is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth.

Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon.

If you pray to God to smite your enemies, Satan is your god.

Good scientists try to prove their favorite theories are wrong.

If "multiculturalism" means "freedom of association", it is superfluous; if any more or less, it is pernicious.

Beware of anything that answers everything.

Don't waste time killing the snake.