Jim Malcolm (of Perth) wrote rather amusing lyrics to the tune of "Flowers of Edinburgh":

THE FLOWERS OF EDINBURGH
(Jim Malcolm)

You will find on the road fae the Castle doon to Holyrood
A funny little stane set in the Gobbles of St.Giles
If you stand there for a while you'll surely see a local
passing by and spitting at it in a practiced style

If he's wearin moroon he's showing his allegiance
to the "Heart of Midlothian" - A loyal proddy man
If he's wearin the green he's spitting disobedience
as a duty bound supporter of "Hibernian"

I can tell you that the flowers of Edinburgh
Are nae on the flower clock of Princes street
Their the quirky little things, that Auld Reekie often brings
To remind you of the history beneath your feet

I can tell you that the flowers of Edinburgh
are nae all the girls at the University
Their the quirky little things, that Auld Reekie often brings
To remind you of the history beneath your taes

Ed Miller also has a nice song called "Edinburgh Town" based on this tune, whose nam is an irony, as the smell of the "Flowers of Edinburgh" would be the lacking sewerage system - hence "Auld Reekie".

Håvard

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9 July 2015 from Joe Offer: Here are the lyrics from the songbook Jim Malcolm gives to people on his Scotland tours.

THE FLOWERS OF EDINBURGH
(Jim Malcolm, tune trad)

You will find on the road
From the castle down to Holyrood
A funny little stone set in the cobbles of St.Giles
If you stand for a while you will surely see a local
Passing by and spitting at it in a practised style.
If he wears the maroon he is showing his allegiance
To the "Heart of Midlothian" - A loyal Proddy man
If he's wearing the green he is spitting disobedience
As a duty-bound supporter of "Hibernian."

CHORUS
I can tell you that the flowers of Edinburgh
Aren't in the floral clock in Princes street
They're the quirky little things
Auld Reekie often brings
Tae remind you of the history Beneath your feet
I can tell you that the flowers of Edinburgh
Aren't just the girls at university
They're the quirky little things
Auld Reekie often brings
Tae remind you of the history beneath your taes.

If you're strolling along on the quiet side of Princes Street
Admiring the castle with an ice-cream in your hand
All around are the splendours of Scotia's bonnie capital
The Walter Scott Memorial, the Ross Bandstand.
There's a loud, sudden BANG! as your heart ceases beating
As your ice-cream is flying as you're diving tae the grun
But you're helped to your feet by a dear old local lady
Who will tell you you've been startled by the one o'clock gun.
CHORUS