Dupont:

Just read through the posts since 4 Jan, thankful for this group and the "we are all in this together, separately!" sense. This, almost 2 weeks has been really unpleasant for me. (Ah! the snowplow just went by!) The heater quit. I was exhausted from the trip, emotionally distraught due to what should have been a minor kerfuffle that put me in mind of PTSD never goes away as I dragged myself through about 60 years of my life, starting by the triggering of my last day as a wife On top of that, I finally realized I had a GI disturbance, then on the 6th I went to pieces as R and I watched, on Canadian TV... The major thing for me was the wonderful memory of my dad and little bro and I walking to the the very top of that elegant dome, alone. We experienced the grandeur, and the pain of watching it be desecrated was intense, and surprised me. And I realized that that trip has not been permissible for ordinary folks for a long time - that ordinary folks have lost a sense of ownership of the country, have never experienced that. Etc... My son pointed out that it all changed on 9/11. The terrorists with planes, destroyed more than we realized if it also destroyed the chance to feel connected to the history of the country.


Cold, traumatised in a number of ways, and R seemed uninterested in getting the heater repaired - He only comes home to sleep, and has even missed that in the pressure of work. I ran out of wood and simply could not bring in more; I was so cold all the time, the thought of going into a colder place and not having a warm place to come back into was more than I could bear. R brought in some. I really was not well; To think of leaving the warmish room to even go into the cold hallway turned me into a whimpering blob. Sitting in a conundrum in the den, I could not think, could not make a decision about anything.

Then I remembered the article I wrote years ago on hypothermia, esp in older people. I HAD to do something! Finally, it dawned on my frozen brain that the small hardware store 10 minutes away was no more dangerous than the one in Bancroft - small and good staff. I took one of the broken cube heaters and drove there, took my cards out of wallet in prep and went inside the door and said, "need help!" "No heat! I'm cold!!! need two of these!" A warmish trip in car and I was able to get home and figure up good placement for these precious heaters - where they could function without blowing fuses - TV, bedroom, K. The downstairs bath has one; I though of dragging a chair in there!   

R finally came home the next day with two more - no places left to plug them in! and I got across the concept, FIX the HEATER!!!!! The ordered parts arrived, Dan fixed the furnace, We have heat! We both check each am to make sure we still have heat! It is clear this is not over. When Dan replaced the old relay with the new one, he found nothing wrong with the old one. So, the probability is, there is still a loose wire somewhere.

Still not feeling well but warm! I finally, after several days of barely eating, not knowing what would help, having sunk into a morass of watching programs on Apple TV in the warm TV room, and having trouble with my eyes "burning", felt enough better to try clogging the system. I had hoped to be well enough to go to Beaver on Friday, before the snow. Did not feel better enough. Today? Not quite. Maybe tomorrow.

Good stuff: My #2 son talked with me for two hours, a wonderful conversation about many important things; on my 84th BD, my son told me in a rather offhand manner that I had been a good mother. No greater gift.

The next day, bro phoned and we had a good talk, (NO politics). Then his wife phoned and talked with me - without complaining about my bro. After all these years, they have each/both come to terms with who they are and the life they have together. At 68 and 80, they have peace in their lives. Still working. Another gift.

And I found that I could order my fav bread on line, and it arrived on Friday. Six loaves of soft pumpernickel and 10 loaves of solid as a brick European "deli" pumpernickel. OOPS! I had meant to order a dif one; I thought I might give the loaves to the food bank and do a new order to get my personal fav. But R came home and ate some and declares he loves it! Even reminisced about the first time he had it - 1971 in the Yukon! With pickled herring! From a German co-worker.   

Outside, I see two neighbours shoveling out from yesterday. Our wonderful neighbour cleared our drive after R left yesterday! I am grateful. We want to find a way to thank him. I was hoping for a friendship with his mom - across the street- but this shutdown...

Ontario makes sense, when I finally found a comprehensive explanation; really no dif from what we have been doing. The 8 pm curfew in QC is dreadful for many people. Very bad for mental health not to be able to take a walk after work, unless you have a dog! And the homeless are... homeless! And the police have already behaved badly. R has a letter so he can come home after 8 pm.

I have ensured all plants are well watered, took cuttings off the tomato seedlings and making sure the precious pear tree seedling is in a good spot. A big pot of veg stew would be a good project today.

I wonder about getting the windows ALL washed in the spring. By someone else!

A bit of unsweetened choc makes my eyes feel better - honest!