I too find it tricky keeping up with all the latest PC/'woke' ways of using words, but for me the main idea is not to offend anybody and to avoid words/expressions which hurt people's feelings or imply prejudice, insult or disparagement.
It costs me nothing to make an effort to adapt my vocabulary. It might be tedious and make me hesitate to open my mouth (which my husband cheekily says is a Very Good Thing!) but I would feel terrible if anyone was hurt or upset by something I inadvertently said.
I've posted on here before about how he jokingly calls me 'Honky' and I call him 'Nigger' (mostly in private). And his cringe-making habit of calling out in the supermarket from the next aisle, "Darling! You're Nigger is 'ere!" making everyone around us aghast with horror.