From Jimmy Crowley, approximately as sung by Christy:

I’ll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Youghal by the sea
The sun it was high and the day it was warm
Says I a quiet pint wouldn’t do me no harm

I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman "I’m sorry all the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or Paddy ten years in the wood"
Says I "I’ll try cider I’ve heard that it’s good"

O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up

After lowering a third I went straight to the yard
Where I bumped into Brophy the big civic guard
"Come here to me boy don’t you know I’m the law"
So I upped with me fist and I shattered his jaw

He fell to the ground and he couldn’t get up
But it wasn’t I hit him 'twas Johnny Jump Up
The next thing I saw down in Youghal by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me

"I’m afraid of me life I’ll be hit by a car
Would you help me across to the Railwayman’s Bar?"
After drinkin a quart of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and danced on his feet

I went down the Lee road a friend for to see,
They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Sea
But when I got there now the truth I will tell
They had the poor bugger locked up in a cell

Said the guard, testing him, "Say these words if you can:
'Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran."
"Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad
It was only a sup of the bottle I had."

A man died in the union by the name of McNab
They washed him and laid him outside on the slab
And after O'Connor his measurements did take
His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake

It was about twelve o’clock and the beer it was high
The corpse he sat up and says he with a sigh
"I can’t get into heaven they won’t let me up
Till I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up"

O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
For I fell to the ground and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up