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John C. Bunnell Parodies: Fall River Hoedown (Lizzie Borden) (4) ADD: The West Virginia Diet (Bunnell) 16 Nov 21


Just as a quick observation, Justin won't be the first to borrow this tune for filk-specific purposes.

Michael Longcor (aka Moonwulf in the Society for Creative Anachronism) is widely known for "Pennsic War IV", a ballad recounting the extraordinarily soggy events of that particular SCA event. (This link gives the song by itself; this one includes extensive live - and hilarious - footnoting by the artist which some will argue is integral to the piece.

And I lifted the tune some time later for a topical filk lyric concerning a news story about a certain bit of legislation passed in West Virginia relative to deceased wildlife found on the state's highways (no recording available, I'm afraid):

THE WEST VIRGINIA DIET

words: John C. Bunnell © 1998
music: Michael Brown ("Lizzie Borden" aka "Fall River Hoedown")

Oh, the folk of West Virginia are a good old-fashioned bunch;
They like eatin’ meat for dinner (and for breakfast, and for lunch);
But be careful if you ask one what that is upon his plate,
Because like as not, he found it lyin’ on the Interstate.

‘Cause you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia,
(It’s a conservation measure, so they say);
Yes, you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia,
Though you shouldn’t tell the ASPCA.

Seems those West Virginia lawmen thought the cost was just obscene
For to haul away the corpses and to keep the highways clean,
So they passed a regulation, purely legal-like and neat:
“We don’t care what you run over, if you’ll take it home to eat!

So you can eat the roadkill here in West Virginia;
It’ll even save our State Police some cash;
Yes, you can eat the roadkill here in West Virginia--
And we hope you like the taste of ‘possum hash.”

Now the boys of West Virginia, they are hunters one and all,
And they love to roam the woodlands ev’ry spring and ev’ry fall,
Only now that roadkill’s legal, they are droppin’ major bucks
Puttin’ lots of reinforcement on the bumpers of their trucks.

‘Cause you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia,
‘Twould be shameful lettin’ meat just go to waste;
Yes, you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia,
And the chrome an’ rubber scarcely hurt the taste.

Oh, you may think West Virginians are a trifle odd or queer
‘Cause they like to eat their roadkill, be it cow or sheep or deer;
But they’re really not that crazy…. Well, a few of ‘em are bats:
They’re the ones who roam the suburbs scarfin’ roadkill dogs an’ cats!

‘Cause you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia,
Though we’re not quite sure how many really do,
Yes, you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia
And I wouldn’t say so if it wasn’t true.

Yes, you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia….
        (Raccoon ragout, venison a la Goodyear—what will they think of next?)
Yes, you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia….
        (Gives a whole new meaning to the words “tailgate party”, doesn’t it?)
Yes, you can eat the roadkill back in West Virginia….
        (This just in: Rachael Ray’s Cooking With Roadkill a bestseller in Wheeling!)
And I wouldn’t say so if it wasn’t true!


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