The version that I remember, from these Oh so many years, is David Wheeler's just above, but in a different order.

How dreary the farm and the meadows
The sheep pens are gloomy and grey
Now the one bit-of-fun, in the years dreary run
Has by science been taken away

I've just given birth to a heifer
And of pride and of milk I am full
But it's sad to relate, that my lacteal state
was not brought about by a bull

No, I've never been naughty. I swear it!
In spite of the calf that I've borne.
By Farmer Brown's tractor, I'm virgo intacta
I've never had a bull by the horn!

I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight
And I'd pull! Oh, I'd pull! For a strongly-built Bull.
It's this phony arrangement I hate!

Now, it mustn't be thought that I'm jealous,
And there are things a cow shouldn't say,
But those Land Army tarts, who handle our parts
Still get it the old-fashioned way!


Land Army. A British quasi-military service for females during WW2,
I think.