.... mistakenly perpetrated at last Monday's Singaround as The Remote Uses' Song (I was working from an intermediate draft, m'Lud).

THE NEWBIES' SONG

Dr M J Carter
Tune: Mike Batt: The Wombling Song

Underused, overlooked, cycles for free,
The users of others' computers are we,
Quietly repurposing kit where we find
Holes in security folks leave behind.

J Random Technoklutz' system protection's
       so twenty-five minutes behind the times ---
       How naiive can you be ---
Why should we pay
       when he's gifted us his kit for free?

Roaming the Net in Pavlovian packs:
We will see weaknesses, we will attack;
Underused, overlooked kit going free,
Invaders of others' computers are we.

[Short burst of blowing own trumpets]

Credit card numerals --- they never see
Under their fingers we log ev'ry key;
We tunnel by night and we roger by day
Ev'ry last firewall stood in our way.

It's so incredibly utterly tedious
       searching the Net for the patch du jour ---
       What the hell is it for? ---
Give 'em the shaft
       before they've a chance to get a clue,
       That's what we do.

Underused, overlooked, cycles for free,
The vermin in ev'ry computer are we,
Taking advantage whenever we find
You've left the keys to your system behind.

[parp pa parp parp *tish*]

This parody Copyright © 2002, 2022 Dr M J Carter

Context: I was thinking when I wrote this in terms of "script kiddies", whose computer-hijacking exploits were the digital equivalent of joyriding and graffiti, and were done mainly for bragging rights. Once they'd been displaced by Big Crime .... well, that was when the game got really nasty, and seriously expensive.