THE GOOD COOK STIRS IN THE ALLI-ALLIUM
(Dr M J Carter)

Tune: The Big Ship Sails

Every cook knows her onions. There I was, browning the onions for the
cottage pie, when I found myself singing the first verse, and pondering
on the history of the dish as recycled leftovers. After that, the song
wrote itself.

This is to be sung with hand actions, as if by a Cub Scout pack.
They're an 'orrible lot: I blame them for the last verse.

[stirring]
The good cook stirs in the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The good cook stirs in the alli-allium,
       To the last dish on the feast day.

[digging]
The gard'ner digs up the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The gard'ner digs up the alli-allium,
       Three months before the feast day.

[platting]
The gard'ner's boy plats the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The gard'ner's boy plats the alli-allium,
       In a rope before the feast day.

[hanging-up]
The good cook hangs up the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The good cook hangs up the alli-allium,
       In the larder for the feast day.

[cutting and twisting]
The good cook cuts off the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The good cook cuts off the alli-allium,
       On the morning of the feast day.

[chopping]
The kitchen boy chops the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The kitchen boy chops the alli-allium,
       On the morning of the feast day.

[stirring]
The good cook stirs in the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The good cook stirs in the alli-allium,
       To the last dish of the feast day.

[loosening of belt]
His Lorship loosens his cummer-cummerbund,
His cummer-cummerbund, his cummer-cummerbund,
His Lorship loosens his cummer-cummerbund,
       At the table on the feast day.

[scoop and plop on plate]
The butler serves up the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
The butler serves up the alli-allium,
       In the last dish on the feast day.

[eating]
Then we all eat up the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
Then we all eat up the alli-allium,
       In the last dish on the feast day.

[ad lib .... not to be sung on parents' night :-) ]
His Lorship chucks up the alli-allium,
The alli-allium, the alli-allium,
His Lorship chucks up the alli-allium,
       For he eats too much on feast days.

This parody Copyright © 2022 Dr M J Carter
Filkstamp: Mon Jul 25 12:04:04 2022

Footnotes:

* The best old-fashioned way to store onions is with the leaves still on: plat the leaves into a rope, and hang the rope somewhere dry, eg the larder, for the onions to dry off. They'll last for months.

* Cottage pie is the only dish Herself will permit me to make unsupervised. We've only been married for four decades.