Hi! I'm awfully late to this party, I see. I was actually looking for the lyrics myself to share with someone... in the hopes of not having to type the whole darn thing. >sigh< Well, here goes:

There once lived a king across the sea,
and this king had daughters three:
Purity, Chastity,
Purity, Chastity,
Purity... and Virtue.

But their names did NOT agree
with the lusty nature of the three.
The king could not trust a lock
to ward off an intruder's -
fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la
fa-la-la, la-di-da.

The king had made for his daughters three
belts to ensure virginity,
each one fitted with a blade so quick
to slice off an intruder's -
merry-may, merry-may,
merry-may, merry-may,
merry-may, tra-la-la.

The king went off to war,
(tucket of trumpets here)
leaving Purity, Chastity,
Purity, Chastity,
Purity... and Virtue.

(Instrumental passage)

The king returned from years of war,
called out his knights, all seven-score,
and ordered them to drop their pants
(slide-whistle)
to see which knight retained his lance -
With a hey, nonny-nonny - NONE.

The king could not believe his eyes!
Not one knight had kept his prize -
except for the good and true sir Rick (or Nick),
the only one who had his -
derry-dong, derry-dong,
derry-dong, derry-dong,
derry-dong hanging down.

The king said, "Sir Rick, you have been true.
Half my kingdom I give to you,
and one of my lovely daughters to wed.
What say you, Sir Richard?" - and Rick said:
"Fa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa,
fa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa,
fa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa."