Then come the ACCOUNTANTS, I must bring them in
They fiddle the books and they think it no sin
For unscrupulous businessmen they will contrive
To add two and two and to come out with five

COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS I cannot leave out
You think one's a genius, he's naught but a lout
They tell you, "You need us, you simply must hire us"
The next thing you know you are down with a virus

Then come the CONSULTANTS, I'll bring them in too
They'll take half your money and think it's their due
These expert, so-called, find employment is steady
Telling their clients what they know already

Not last and not least I bring in ENGINEERS
Their degrees and diplomas allay all your fears
They design you a bridge and as soon as it's built
It falls down and dozens of people are kilt

And then come the BANKERS, they won't get our thanks
The money that once was ours now is the bank's
Their high service charges will come as a shock
You'd do better to keep your spare cash in a sock

Then come POLITICIANS and they take the cake
Not one in a hundred but he's on the take
For fat-cat contributors they'll act as a proxy
They put you in mind of a pimp and his doxy

And now I'll bring in the PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE
His brain it is slow though he's fast on his feet
Some overpriced product he's paid well to flog
While you get ripped off he lives high on the hog

The RADIO TALK SHOW HOST can't be left out
He holds forth on things he knows nothing about
He says he's unbiased, he says he is fair
But if you're not a bigot you won't get on the air

The EDITOR, too, I must put in my song
She blue-pencils your work, changing right into wrong
Just why she should do this there's no way of telling
Unless it's her ignorance of grammar and spelling

The next is a cruel and capricious oppressor
I'm referring, of course, to the COLLEGE PROFESSOR
To teach undergraduates he scarcely will deign
And spouts learned nonsense to show off his brain

And as for the STUDENT, you'd best be advised
The essays he hands in are all plagiarized
What he hasn't copied or bought, you can bet
Has all been downloaded off the internet

Then come MORRIS DANCERS, they're next on my list
Their dancing is just an excuse to get pissed
With sticks and with cudgels each other they bash
Then pass round the duck and ask us for cash

Then come FOLK MUSICIANS, I must bring them in
What they call folk music's cacophonous din
They claim it's original, but just look and see
You'll find that they cribbed it right off a CD