Steve, a safety pin will keep a non-compliant zipper in place for as long as you need to pop out to the shops and buy a replacement zipper. After next washday, take the shorts and the new zipper to your local clothing fixer-upper, who may be calling herself a tailor or an alterations specialist. Bob may not be your uncle, but you have options.

I have spent the entire day cleaning and moving books — that is, the books I intend to keep. The bathroom project left plaster dust throughout the house so it had to be done, but holy moly! According to my Fitbit, I logged 7,364 steps without even leaving the house, just back and forth across the library and up and down the stairs. I am now bushed, and drinking beer.