No, Stilly; that olive-drab quilted thing in the back of my car is not a poncho — it’s a poncho *liner*. You can wrap it around yourself like a blanket, but it’s not a garment; it’s for insulation when you and your buddy make a hoochie (rudimentary shelter) out of two Army-issue ponchos and a tree. Since the Vietnam era, the lighter and snugglier US Army version, popularly known as a “woobie”, has been hugely popular with troops who use it as a security blanket. It’s wonderful for enduring a drafty house, but it’s not what I would call sturdy.

The Canadian version is not cosy, but it’s moisture- and abrasion-resistant. When moving something heavy and awkward, such as a bookcase, I spread the poncho liner over the floor of the car boot so it hangs well over the back bumper. This allows me to slide the bookcase on its back over the bottom lip of the boot and into the car, never taking its full weight.

In case of rain, I keep a scarlet golf umbrella on the cargo cover of the car. If I’m lucky, I’ll never again find myself struggling into the driver’s seat while wearing a drenched poncho.

BTW, you have a genius for making me grateful for Canada Post and the various organs of our provincial and federal governments: all you have to do is describe any interaction with officialdom. Y’know, that debt-ceiling thing your Congress does — that can’t happen here.