a parody using the tune of The Parting Glass


Now recently I did intend
My wicked lifestyle to amend.
But my good deeds turned out to be
Real bad for the economy.
The sleazy bars are closing down
For I no longer come around
No quickies in the afternoon
So the No-Tell Motel’s closing soon.

CH: For every sin that we commit
    There’s someone’s job depends on it
    And on our morals, loose and lax
    The Government collects a tax

Tobacco farmers have gone broke
Since I no longer choose to smoke
The fast food chains are failing too
I’ve switched to carrots and tofu
Policemen all are on half pay
For I’ll commit no crime today
Gun salesmen too in grief are mute
There’s no one I would like to shoot. (Chorus)
`   CHORUS

When from my evil ways I ceased
The unemployment rolls increased
The streets filled up with homeless folk
Since my bad habits I had broke
The Congress and the President
Committees to my door have sent
With tears they beg, in grief and pain
That I might un-reform again
“The Market’s down, and jobs are lost.
For all our sakes, please count the cost.
This wicked virtue please give o’er
Go forth, old young man, and sin once more.”
        CHORUS - AMEN

I now use the following verse section in place of the section re crime and guns

I now make do with less, not lots
and no longer heed those TV spots
Claiming that what’s new is improved
So a thrift store to the mall has moved