People go on thinking man that I am just a drinking man They see me flit from pub to pub and think I'm just a sot And though they call me raincoat trade or one of the plastic mac brigade A flasher or a feeler I am not No Peeping Tom has never been my name And raiding washing lines is not my game I'm that rare old thing a clean old man My harmless pleasure when I can Is chatting up of barmaid's I'm happy when they smile
Chorus Some men go for vintage wine some like collecting stamps Some men tinker with their cars some grow potted plants But I'm not into things like these I never had the knack I'm just a barmaid connoisseur and they call me Greasy Mac
There's a saucy little packet serves at the Hand and Racket Her necklines get them breathing hard I pant a bit miself And every Hand and Racket Man has started drinking Black and Tan For Mary keeps the Guiness on the bottom shelf But fellows round all keep a wary eye For seven foot Stan her husband lurks nearby And Stan a nasty party with a black belt in Karate And a temper twice as short as he is high
Chorus Some men go for vintage wine some like collecting stamps Some men tinker with their cars some grow potted plants But I'm not into things like these I never had the knack I'm just a barmaid connoisseur and they call me Greasy Mac
My favourite is Alice down at our local gin palace With her ginger wig and broken nose she looks a right old bag But one thing you would never know unless she let her falsies show Alice was a boxer until she discovered drag She has a little friend called Gascione Clegg Buy him a drink and he'll sit up and beg On the side they run a boutique Selling trendy menswear very chic Where if you want a tie they take your inside leg
Chorus Some men go for vintage wine some like collecting stamps Some men tinker with their cars some grow potted plants But I'm not into things like these I never had the knack I'm just a barmaid connoisseur and they call me Greasy Mac
Then there's Doris at the Travellers Rest Who's getting on and past her best Lord but she was beautiful when in she was in her prime A figure then to turn your head and eyes that hinted come to bed She could have married anyone she fancied any time But her GI boyfriend flew away promising to send for her someday Still full of hope she pulls the beer looks fading with each passing year Warming cold tomorrow with the fires of yesterday
Chorus Some men go for vintage wine some like collecting stamps Some men tinker with their cars some grow potted plants But I'm not into things like these I never had the knack I'm just a barmaid connoisseur and they call me Greasy Mac
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