I got home from the pub four hours late last night. “Where the hell have you been?” screamed my wife. I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.” “Playing poker with some blokes? Well that does it! You can pack your bags and go!” “So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house any more.” Later on I said "I'm going back to the pub. Get your coat on." "Oh, are you taking me?" She asked "No, I'm turning the heating off."
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